10 Signs You Are the Second Child

Second Child Syndrome happens to be a cause that is near and dear to my heart because, you see, my son… well, I forget his name right now, but I’m sure it will come to me… was born with the all-too-common condition.  So, in the interest of helping other kids who wonder why the pages of their baby books are blank, here are some other telltale symptoms:

10 Signs You Are the Second Child

#10 – Your mom’s “diaper bag” is her back pocket.

#9 –  You think pacifiers come packaged with lint and pet hairs.

#8 –  “Hand-puréed breakfast” = crushed Cheerios on the floor.

#7 – By the time your parents bother to come and pick you up from the crib in the morning, you could have read War and Peace from cover to cover.  Twice.

#6 – You think your name is “Hey you.”

#5 – Your parents have more pictures of the cats than of you.

#4 – Your first solid food was a basket of BBQ ribs.

#3 – You think the Bubble Guppies are your babysitters.

#2 – All of the tags in your clothes have somebody else’s name written on them.

#1 – Your parents exclaim with surprise: “Hey, wait — when did you start walking?!”  Just as you’re about to accept your high school diploma.