Candy Kirby
Would you rather…
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Sprout so many pregnancy chin hairs that you can braid them? OR… grow so much pregnancy hair on your belly that you need to condition it?
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Chin Hair! -
Stomach Mane!
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Carry your extra pregnancy weight in your boobs? OR… in your booty?
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Front
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Back
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Have an OB/GYN who’s only delivered a handful of babies? OR… a seasoned OB/GYN who insists on calling you “Big Mama”?
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Inexperienced
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“Big Mama”
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Not have to pee throughout the night, but leak a little in restaurants/the offices/etc. throughout the pregnancy? OR… have to pee hourly every night, but not have to worry about leaking in public?
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Public Leaker
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Tired
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Your partner passes out in the locked bathroom during delivery? OR… your partner live-streams the delivery on social media?
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Misses Delivery
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Shares Delivery with the World
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Have your water noticeably break in the middle of your big presentation at work? OR… have to suddenly deliver your baby in the middle of the cereals aisle at the grocery store?
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Wet at Work
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Grocery Store Baby
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Get hard-to-see stretch marks on your inner thighs? OR… have your feet grow TWO sizes?
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Rarely-Seen Stretch Marks
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Bigger Feet
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Have strangers touch your belly every day? OR… have strangers give you unsolicited parenting advice every day?
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Invasion of the Belly Touchers
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Unwanted Advice
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Be struck with an insatiable craving for a Whopper at 2AM nightly for a week? OR… struck with pregnancy constipation for a week?
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Yearning for meat.
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Yearning to go.
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Name baby after your partner’s ex-girlfriend? OR… name baby after your mother-in-law?
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Ex-girlfriend
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MIL
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