10 Weird Things All First-Time Moms Worry About

Those first couple of days after you have a baby is such a wonderful time. The hospital staff fusses over you and the little one. You can page the nurses any time you have a question or concern. They help you feed, bathe and swaddle the baby.

Then they shove you in a wheelchair, drop the kid in your arms, push you out of the building and you’re like, Wait, AM I GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THIS BABY BY MYSELF?! WHAT MAKES THEM THINK I’M CAPABLE OF DOING THIS?

Not only do most moms have a freak-out moment (or two or twenty) like that, but our doubts also continue to multiply. I’m here to assure you that you needn’t worry about those worries. Totally normal. Not convinced? Just check out some of the weird things all first-time moms worry about.

#1 – “I’m not going to love the baby as much as my dog/cat/pet potbelly pig.”

Our cats were our babies. We loved them. We had monogrammed bowls for them. We featured them on our holiday cards. The moment I had my daughter, we were all, Have we fed the cats in the past week?

#2 – “Will I be able to keep another human being alive?”

I had only changed a diaper once in my life before having kids — and that was with my three-year-old cousin, who actually helped me and sneered, “Haven’t you ever changed a diaper before?”

Seven years later, I’ve somehow managed to keep my kids alive.

#3 – “I can’t let germs anywhere near the baby!”

With my first child, I made every single person sanitize their hands before touching my precious angel. With my second child, I didn’t care if the person had just splashed around in a toilet bowl as long as they were willing to hold my kid and give me a break. And his immune system is now as strong as a Mack truck.

#4 – “Am I really ‘mom material’?”

Yes, BUT… keep in mind we’re all made up of different fabrics. So however you can best survive motherhood, as long as your child is loved, is the “mom material” you’re meant to be.

#5 – “What if I mess up?”

I once left my four-month-old son on the sofa while I quickly went to the bathroom — and he managed to roll off and fall on the hardwood floor in those 60 seconds. Not sure who cried harder: him or me.

Yeah, you’ll mess up. Many, many times.

#6 – “OMG, MY BABY HAS HICCUPS. HOW DO I STOP THEM?!”

I actually paged the nurse in a panic about this one. She rushed to my room… only to find my newborn had hiccups. “It’s no big deal. Try nursing her,” she laughed.

It is painful to see their tiny bodies consumed by the involuntary contractions. It also is harmless.

#7 – “Why does my baby sneeze so much?”

Allergic to being outside of Mom’s cozy womb? Nah. Apparently sneezing is another crazy thing newborns do a lot. Who knew?

#8 – “What if the baby stops breathing?”

One of the most common fears. You worry when they sleep too long. You worry when they sleep–period. WHAT IF HE STOPS BREATHING? So you stand over the newborn monitoring every. single. breath.

#9 – “What if I, like, poke a hole in the baby’s soft spot?”

Well, if that happens, your kid will have a great nook for storing school supplies one day!

#10 – Everything.

You’re afraid she’ll suffocate if you have a blanket in the crib. You’re afraid she’ll be too cold without a blanket. You’re afraid to hold her too much. You’re afraid to not hold her enough. Heck, you’re even afraid to watch the news now because what kind of world have you brought your child into, anyway?!

This means you care with every ounce of your being. Welcome to motherhood!

Candy Kirby

Candy is the founder of The Mom Beat and a humor columnist whose work as appeared in Redbook, Nickelodeon's NickMom, Disney's BabyZone, HelloGiggles and eHow. She also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation.