1. “Don’t worry. It’ll grow back.”
2. “Wow. Your kids have given you a LOT of grey hairs, huh?”
3. “I’ve seen straw with more moisture than your hair.”
4. “SURPRISE! I gave you the Donald Trump ‘do!”
5. “These highlights will detract from the dark circles under your eyes.”
6. “Is this YOUR chunk of burning hair in the curling iron?”
7. “I have to warn you — I like to talk A LOT…”
8. “Before I turn you around to look in the mirror, you may want to take a deep breath.”
9. “This is my first day out of the training academy!”
11. “HOLY CRAP, RUN — ALIENS ARE INVADING THE SALON!!!”
Let’s be honest: better this than crooked bangs.
Candy is the founder of The Mom Beat and a humor columnist whose work as appeared in Redbook, Nickelodeon's NickMom, Disney's BabyZone, HelloGiggles and eHow. She also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation.